Guilty

I can't do this anymore.
It's so hard loving you when there's a guilt in my heart.
It's too late to stop.
I love you too much now.
There's no other way to stop this, unless...
You break my heart.
But that's impossible to do.
Instead of my heart that you're breaking,
it's hers that you're gonna break.
I don't want that.
I'd love to say yes to you, but..
I feel so guilty just by saying, "Yes."
Please stop. I can't handle this anymore.

The 16th of October

I just found this poem from this website. It's not so... umm well. You know. ALL THAT. But try to understand it. Sometimes, little poems can become meaningful poems. The name of the poem is.. A TRUE FRIEND.

A true friend
A true friend is the one who picks you up when you fall
A true friend is one that won't lie
A true friend is there when you call
A true friend is there when you want to die
A true friend knows just what to say
A true friend won't care what other people think
A true friend will help you find your way
A true friend will make sure you don't sink
A true friend will help you choose your path
A true friend will know when something is wrong
A true friend has to sometimes face your wrath
A true friend makes you feel like you belong
A true friend

Ashley Reese

What I'm saying is here, is that tonight I cried. A LOT. For 2 different reasons.
1. Because of a CD -__-
and 2. Because of friendship. (Duuh!)

Mostly about friends. Tonight they made me feel so lonely. And friendless. I just don't know if my happiness is worth sacrificing. I feel like just an idiot. I want to cry so bad. But when I cry it hurts so bad. But if I don't cry, the pain won't go away. So what should I do? Should I end my life right now? Or keep trying?

A YEAR WITHOUT RAIN!!!!

So this is the "A Year Without Rain" music video by Selena Gomez and The Scene. I thought it was pretty cool. I understand that it is a love song. And as always, Selena looks beautiful in it :D

HELLO SEPTEMBER

Hey guys! I haven't posted anything in the last month. Sorry. It's been so busy, that's all. On August, I had a test and I think I did pretty well. And also, August was the Ramadhan month. That means on August we have to fast for like 30 days. That's crazy but we can eat after sunset, ofcourse. On the first week, I did pretty well. But on the last few days..not so much. Oh yeah. On the first day of September. I broke up with my boyfriend. He's a pain in the ass. He said some pretty weird stuff. I don't like him, AT ALL! I prefer guys who are more taller than me and they like me for who I am. Okay, that's it for today's blog guys. See you later! ;)

AUGUST!!!

Hello AUGUST! I'm doing great, by the way... It's just at school, I'm not doing so great. It looks like my friends have changed A LOT and I miss the old them. I know this is a new year and we've gone our seperate ways but don't forget your old friends... NEVER forget your old friends, cause they mean more to you than you think. But that's really all that's happening to me. I can figure this out...somehow. But don't worry, I'm gonna be extra careful and totally fine!

Happy Anniversary, IchAbay!

I just want to say happy Anniversary you guys! I wish you all the best and I hope your relationship lasts long.

I want to say a few words before I end this blog. Kind of like, a speech, I guess.

I've know you guys for a pretty long time. Maybe a year. I've known Icha since the first day of school. I've known Abay since he dated Icha, I guess. Abay has always had problems with me. Well, the whole girls of the class too. Icha... we're not that close but I feel like much closer than you think. But I don't know a lot about her. So, I don't really call it.. "close." I only know that she is the youngest sibling. And her father passed away when she was about 5 years old? And that she's half-Japanese. And she lives with her sister and brother-in-law or as she calls them.. her "step-parents". I know that she went to Putra Pertiwi Kindergarten. What else do I know? Oh yeah, I know her birthday is on September 8th. That's pretty much it. Abay... I have no clue about him. I don't even know his birthday. I'm trying but it's never reminded, I guess. I really don't know a single thing about him. We never talk cause he's a dude and I'm not that close with guys. But, he sometimes depends on me. He wants to know what Icha said about him when they have a fight. I don't but if I get permission then I do. He has a close friend, I think. Riza. He's also a friend of mine. And a boyfriend to another friend of mine. I don't know. I don't know what to say now. I'm confused. But the one thing I know, is that these 2 people. I love them so very much. They brighten my day. They are the best couple I have ever seen. This is a speech of their 7 month anniversary.  And that one thing is that... Their my friends.

July..might not be good :(

I have a feeling that July will NOT be a good month for me. I don't know why but it will! I have a feeling that my friends don't like me anymore... I can't prove it but I can feel it in my heart. I thought that going to Alix JHS would change my life, my friends, and everything else. But I was wrong. I thought that I could make new friends and be the best friend to them. But, again, I was wrong. I feel left out. Maybe I don't deserve living in this world. I want to die but I don't want to waste my hopes and dreams in the future.

In July, there will NO longer be a "7CanonBlast". There's gonna be a new class. The 8th grade. I need to do something to impress my "friends". It's hard for me to change because I'm such a shy girl. I pray to Allah every day. Hoping that Allah could change me and make my friends see what they were missing these past few months. But that wish hasn't come true yet...

So, July... I don't know what to do next. But in my head, there's someone saying that I should be..patient. And I will... :)

Another day with the Four Friends

So, my four friends, Fia, Alya, Delia and Icha, came to my house again. We didn't take any pictures soo no pictures! SORRY! It wasn't as fun as the last time. But we still had a pretty good time.

First, we went to 7eleven. Then, someone talked about coming to my house again. And so we did. But first, we went to Alya's house, then Icha's house, then mine. There's nothing really to talk about. Except, for this movie that we watched called, "Mother's Little Helpers." I don't really understand what the movie's about but it's a pretty nasty movie :P

We also used my bicycle again. But just for finding this food called, "gorengan." It's really good though.

That's it for today's blog now. Buh-bye!